A woman was commenting on how much she admired my red hair and stated, "I wish God had made me a red head." I responded, "My hairdresser is good and performs a miracle but is not God."
One morning my daughter called me saying that my 5-year-old granddaughter didnt think I would be at home that I would be at church. I told her to tell Jenna that I dont go to church on Mondays. I heard this little voice in the background; "I just hate it when Im not right!"
One time when watching TV with my mother I commented on how cute a certain man was on the show. Mother said, "You are too old for cute, go for money and generosity!"
An elderly woman went to the doctor and was told she was pregnant. She exclaimed, "I cant be. I am 62 years old." The doctor said he knew but he also knew she was going to have a baby. He then asked what she thought her husband would take the news. So she decided to call him there. Her husband answered the phone and she shouted, "You old coot! You got me pregnant!" There was silence on the phone for a few minutes, then he asked, "Who is this?"
After watching me get on the Internet on the computer, my 9-year-old granddaughter told me she could now get online and read my email. She said, "I even know your password, seven stars!"
My daughter Shari had been out of school for several years when she started classes at a technology school. She was doing great in her studies until she had to begin learning the computer. It just did not come easy for her and all her classmates knew it. At the end of a trying day on the computer, she patted it and said, "Nice computer. Tomorrow I am going to bring you a gift." Puzzled by her remark her classmates asked, "What gift are you bringing your computer?" She responded, "A virus!"
A woman stood outside the pearly gates crying. Finally St. Peter approached her and told her to come on inside. She cried more and said, "I cant. I dont have a covered dish!"